All our kids are a blessing are they not? Every one is different for sure. I thank God for this because He teaches me so much through my children. I don’t really get the apart about sanctification through childbearing, but I am pretty sure it doesn’t stop at childbearing. My children are living reminders of my need for sanctification every single day….especially through these early adolescent years.
I brought my 13 year old’s laundry up and suggested she fold it while we were watching a movie. I also mentioned I would be needing my laptop she was using. I got an eye roll and no movement. So I walked down the hall mumbling, “I know you won’t do it, so I’ll just put your laundry in your room.”
She rushed down the hall into her room and closed the door. When I said to come out and fold her laundry in the living room as she had been in her room alone enough today doing school work and pleasure reading, she exited her room with her laundry basket and an attitude. I questioned her on the attitude and she responded. With tears in her eyes. ”Because you always make those comments. You, and Dad, and my sister.” “What comments?” I asked. ”I heard you say, ‘You won’t do it anyway.’”
Ugh. I made my little girl cry. With my words. Whether I meant to hurt her or not; I made her cry. I responded to her in a way that I would have reprimanded one of her siblings for talking to her. I responded to her in a way that would have hurt my feelings had it come from my husband to me.
And like that toothpaste squeezed from the tube, you can’t get the words back in. I humbled myself immediately to her and told her how sorry I was. I was wrong. I should have handled the situation completely differently to get the same result. She is sitting here folding her laundry, watching a movie about Helen Keller. I could have gotten the same results with a kind, encouraging word.
Remember, parenting is a learning journey. Every single day. Don’t think you “got it” because one method worked with one child. Every child is different and has a different love language and a different way in which they feel secure in your love. What makes every child the same is the need to feel loved and wanted. I am working on this diligently. To make each child feel they are special because they are who God made them and just the way God made them. Not some little copy of what I was or what I want them to be.
I don’t have a PhD to support my theory. All I have is M.O.M.
I’ll shut up now so you can go hug your kids.